Not the world’s safest hobby

I’ve always been fascinated with drug addiction and alcoholism. Granted, these aren’t the world’s safest hobbies, but I’ve had a lot of fun reading about these diseases. I even did a couple of stints as a drug and alcohol counselor, believe it or not. What I learned is alcoholism is a disease, as I’ve previously indicated. That means it’s kind of like cancer. In other words, if you have it, it’s not your fault you have it. Any bad thing you did while you were drunk or high is the disease’s fault, not yours. Although you might have to make amends for it nonetheless. Alcoholism is a hereditary disease. If you’re a male and your father is/was an alcoholic, chances are pretty good you’re an alcoholic or you could become one. So what do you do about it? Nothing if you don’t want to. Go ahead, see where it takes you. People in Alcoholics Anonymous say it can lead to jails institutions and death. But how do you know you’re an alcoholic? If you have any DUIs, chances are you’re an alcoholic. If you’ve had any blackouts, meaning entire evenings are missing from your memory due to drinking, odds are you qualify. If you think you might be an alcoholic, you probably are. Normal people don’t go around thinking they might be an alcoholic. And if you’ve answered any of these questions in the affirmative and you’d like to stop drinking, here’s what you can do.

Get help

Admitting the problem means you’re halfway home. Tell someone about it. Your friends and loved ones probably already have a pretty good idea. You don’t have to talk to them about it if you don’t want to. Talk to someone you can trust who wont’ judge you. See what they say. There are many numbers and hotlines you can call in the phonebook. There are hundreds of detoxification and recovery centers online. Their prices range from next to nothing (if you qualify) to tens of thousands of dollars. This is a huge leap of faith for many people. Admitting you’re an alcoholic might seem like admitting you’re a sex fiend. Relax, there’s not that much stigma attached to alcoholism anymore. Even presidents of the United States have been known to embark on that long road to recovery.

Stop drinking

One thing they talk about in A.A. is “one day at a time.” To them, it’s a lot easier to stop drinking for 24 hours than it is for a lifetime. All they do is help each other stay out of the bottle or beer can one day at a time. Another thing they talk about a lot is “relapse.” Like a cancer relapse, an alcoholic relapse can occur at any time. Even to those with many years of sobriety. The problem with relapses is there are only two kinds: therapeutic and terminal. People experiencing therapeutic relapses learn from them. People who have terminal relapses die from them. I used to have the police beat in Patterson. One day, I followed the sirens to a lonely stretch of Highway 120 west of Modesto. There I saw a guy sitting in his car. Only there wasn’t much left of his car. The sides, hood and roof had been sawed off by the jaws of life. The guy had plastic tubes coming out of his nose which had been sliced off. His skin was pale and yellowish. The California Highway Patrol officer told me they found a small bag of methamphetamine in his pocket. That young man had a terminal relapse. He probably hadn’t planned on dying that day.

Go to meetings

There are thousands of AA and Narcotics Anonymous meetings all over the world. They happen every morning, afternoon and evening. They happen all over the place. There’s no excuse. If you can’t get a ride, call the AA or NA hotline. Once you’re at a meeting, shut up and listen. Chances are you’ll hear someone tell your story. It may be their story, but it sounds a lot like yours. People laugh at these meetings. Remember laughter? You don’t have to talk at the meeting if you don’t want to. But it’s a good idea to talk to someone afterward, especially someone you can relate to. Don’t be shy. They say, “When one door closes another will open.” Go to as many meetings as you can. Immediately or eventually, you’ll hear exactly what you need to hear. People at 12-Step groups tend to talk about their Higher Power. And that isn’t always God. All it is is a power that’s loving, caring, and greater than them. They go to that Higher Power a lot for help and answers. These aren’t religious groups. These are spiritual groups.

Help others

Watching these folks at work I learned the happiest ones were the ones that helped others. The more hugs they gave, the more friendly ears they offered, the more people they picked up and took to a meeting, the better they felt about themselves. The better they felt about themselves, the more likely they were to stay sober. Next thing they knew, they got their jobs back or they got newer and better jobs. They got their wives back, they got their husbands back, and they got their kids back. That’s the ones who complained the most (and you can’t blame them), the ones who lost their kids to their addiction. But if they stick around long enough, if they trust their Higher Power, take personal inventory, ask their Higher Power to remove their shortcomings, make amends to those they have harmed and help others, they always seem to get their kids back; sometimes, quickly sometimes slowly. Needless to say, I’ve read and studied a lot on this subject. It fascinates me to no end.